OK beautiful Woman… LANGUAGE WARNING at the midway mark of this video!
Yep! I get a bit fired up when I talk about REAL love!
Today we’re talking about love. Not a surprise considering the work I do, and considering my deep down belief that you and I ARE the love we week…literally!
Let’s expand it out a little though shall we?
In my 16+ years of working with women from around the world, here’s what I’ve noticed.
Even though we’re all capable, competent, intelligent modern women, and we know we don’t need a man to ride in on a white horse and save us, or to provide the ‘white-picket-fence-happy-ever-after’ fantasy, there are deeply ingrained ‘stories’ in our psyche about how love ‘should’ be.
And these ‘stories’ often remain an strong underlying influence on how we love in life, and in intimate relationship.
So let’s open a conversation about the modern woman’s CONSCIOUS way to love.
…YOUR unique way to love.
Here’s the thing.
We all have ways that we’re ‘comfortable’ giving love, and ways we’re not.
For example, if you were raised to NEVER get angry, then as a woman, you’ll probably be afraid to express ‘fierce love’.
If you’ve been compromised in some way, you may have decided it was unsafe to be vulnerable, and so maybe you avoid giving and receiving ‘vulnerable love’.
If you have an underlying fear, shame or embarrassment around being freely sexual, then maybe you avoid giving and receiving love in the form of delicious and wild sexual merging with your intimate partner.
And so it goes…
Love moves though you in many ways.
Remember, you ARE love.
And when you consciously gift the love you are to your partner, however it moves through you spontaneously you gift each other in ways you could never have imagined.
What an empowering, and fulfilling juicy way to live!!!
When you deny it, or suppress it, you deny yourself of that form of love, and your partner. You deny yourself and your partner the intrinsic nourishment, fulfilment, aliveness, and freedom that comes with that BEING, GIVING AND RECEIVING, that love.
And…
Whatever you avoid expressing in healthy ways, will inevitably come out in destructive ways.
For example, fierce love, is just as important in relationship as tender love, or supportive love, or any other kind of love because it’s important to express how you feel when your partner is out of integrity.
And when it’s expressed unconditionally, with an open heart, it serves you, your man and the world.
Equally if you’re great at fierce love but find it difficult to love tenderly or softly, then you deny yourself and your partner that way of loving.
Now there’s no wrong or right here, so don’t go getting your pen out and start making a list of all the things that you have to ‘fix’ about yourself!
It’s NOT about that.
There’s NOTHING missing in you. You’re NOT broken…(despite what the personal development world, and even a lot of religions and new age modalities might tell you)
There’s nothing to fix.
You’re a beautiful, whole, complete woman as you are.
YOU…Are love embodied.
The question is..Will you ALLOW yourself to live as the love you are in all your complexities and flavours?
Or will you deny yourself and the world of that love?
How you love yourself (or don’t), is how you tend to love others (or don’t)!
So my invitation to you today is grab a pen and paper, write down all the ways you feel comfortable loving, and all the ways that you tend to avoid loving.
Be honest with yourself. And when you do this, breathe fully down into your belly so you can FEEL the answers, rather than THINK them.
By the way, when you recognize a particular way of loving that you find difficult, DON’T give yourself a hard time about it. Self awareness is a gateway to change.
So trust your capacity to love in ALL ways. It might take some healing, self-awareness, time and practice, the very fact that you recognize a way that you hold back love, means you have the capacity to love in that way.
Otherwise you wouldn’t see it at all!
Does that make sense?
You can only see what already exists within you.
As the realizations come to you of the ways you’ve been holding back your love (from yourself and your partner), make a heartfelt commitment to do something about it today.
It’s time to LIVE the LOVE you ARE! For real.
So how could you release your fears and learn new and powerful ways to give and receive love in all the ways you’ve been holding back?
Either get some coaching, or join one of my mentor groups.
Or you could join a local woman’s group.Or turn on some music – and practice moving and dancing, and BEING an expression of whatever form of love you have most denied, most suppressed, most held back. This is a powerful form of self-healing.
Maybe you’ve got your own way …if you do, please share it below in the comments box. I’d LOVE to hear your story.
Have fun with it. I’m here if you have any questions, and I really look forward to connecting with you soon.
Let me know how you go.
And please share your experience here to inspire and empower the other women who read this.
PS Need help but not sure where to start? Click here and send me a personal message.
